The Most Awkward Commercial of 2007 goes to...

You, George Bush!
Yes, that's right, you!
You're probably in shock, because I bet that, besides the presidency, you've never really won anything before. Well, today's your lucky day, because you've been given a big, metaphorical golden WTF trophy... (But come to think of it, you probably already have several.)
The piece of work that brought forth the creation of this award?
Watch, and contain yourself.

There are several things that are wrong with this commercial:
1. It's about sex and happens to have been created by the Bush administration.
2. There's actually a campaign for abstinence.
3. Ironically, that one chick in the stable is actually leaning quite provocatively.
4. Every person that says "sex" in this commercial turns it into a two-syllable word.
5. It is basically threatening your TV-watching children with "if you even think about having sex before marriage, you will fail at everything." (Last time I heard, sex, in today's culture, brings forth success.)
6. They had the audacity to stop filming before the red-haired chick could finish with "...but then i'll forget about it."

The WTF: No. 3-- "Booty jeans" is given a whole new meaning

Every knowingly well-endowed chick has that one pair of pants they wear on a special night out that properly showcases their god-given behind. These are called, of course, the "booty jeans".

The following picture, found on the Jeepney blog, gives the aforementioned phrase an entirely new outlook.

Join me, children...

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.

Reviews & Previews: Dexter, Season 2

When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love...

But what happens when doing what you love becomes impossible?

The undeniably strong Shotime original series Dexter returns with a brand-new and very promising new season. Re-enter Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall, brilliant as ever), vigilante, who killed his murderous brother more than two weeks ago. He's feeling damaged, of course, and has got to find someone new to kill, and fast... but doing so is becoming surprisingly difficult ever since Sargeant Doakes (Erik King) is beginning to truly suspect something hidden within Dexter. So he carries on regardless, trying to seem as boringly normal as possible... which isn't helping much.

At the end of a night of bowling with fellow employees, Doakes goes home early, giving Dexter the chance he needs to strike. His target is a blind man who casts voodoo death spells on whomever his clients request, and Dexter's got everything he needs to get the job done... but on the cutting board, he can't find it in him to finish off his prey. With the man's blindness as a golden opportunity, Dexter confusedly releases his would-be victim.

Meanwhile, Dexter's sister Debra (Jennifer Carpenter), who was almost killed by Dexter's brother and her former fiance, is struggling to move on. She reluctantly returns to work with her brother, much to the dismay of ex-lieutenant Maria LaGuerta (Lauren Velez), who can tell she's not ready for a comeback. The agency's new lieutenant insists Debra can work again, and alas, she returns to the crime scene... only to be harrassed by a man who'd seen her on the news. LaGuerta is ready to defend Debra, but she smiles at the man and walks away.

The agency has found a body by the water who was suspected to be killed by a gang leader by the name of Lil' Chino. The victim's mother speaks to Dexter in Spanish, saying she wants Dexter to kill Lil' Chino... and the victim's daughter gives Dexter a look he recognizes, and he unfortunately knows exactly what it says: "I know what happened. Please do something."

Dexter makes plans to kill Lil' Chino... before he sees him in person. He is HUGE. But Dexter isn't dismayed... he can't resist a challenge.

Meanwhile, Dexter's girlfriend Rita (Julie Benz) is continuing to receive calls from her ex-husband, Paul, who was put in jail through Dexter's careful frame... and totally knows it. He tells her he doesn't deserve to be in such a hardcore jail. He tries to convince Rita that something is up with Dexter, and she needs to look for the shoe that Dexter used to render him unconscious. Rita has her doubts, but is denying Dexter is guilty of anything.

She takes Debra out for some drinks, but before she goes, Paul calls and tells her to look for the shoe... she, still in denial, says whatever she can to get him off the line. He protests, and she hangs up and it's off the bar. She and Deb have a drink... only to have a man almost bring up exactly where he has seen Deb's face... before she punches him. Debra has snapped.

Dexter is getting everything set up for Lil' Chino, does the old routine, tapes him to the table and everything. But as the cheek cut goes wrong, his prey recollects his consciousness and Dexter is almost killed before Lil' Chino escapes. Shit. What the hell is up? A total failure. He drives to Rita's for consolation, only to hear her sobbing in her backyard. She says she got a call from the police. Paul's dead. He was killed in a fight. She could've saved him. How is she going to tell her kids? Dexter tells her it was Paul's fault he was in jail... and Dexter is almost certain she knows. Time to fess up? No. She breaks down in his arms.

He comes home to a spellbound Debra on his bed. She shows him what they've been playing on the news all night: bodies. Almost every one of Dexter's victims has been found in Bay Harbor. Debra tells Dexter that breaking down another mass murderer is exactly what she needs...

...but not this one.

Dexter is as captivating as ever, and previews of the forthcoming episodes promise this season will be even more engrossing than the flawless first. With an excellent cast and superior storyboarding, this episode is worth the wait fans have taken.

Hall is a spectacle, and he does not disappoint in this episode. He continues to shows Dexter addicts that his starring role was pre-destined. But one to watch this season will definitely be the scene-stealing Erik King, whose performance as Doakes is nothing if not bone-chilling. His stoic glance is so convincing that he'll make you think he knows your secrets, too...

My predictions for Season Two?

• Fans will really have to buckle up... this season will be a helluva ride.
• Dexter will find romantic feelings for a new character who will become his offbeat conscience... and could stand in Rita's way.
• Dexter will manuever his way out of the agency's hawkeye, one way or another, like he has before.
• Dexter will have to make up SOMETHING to satisfy Doakes's bloodlust.
• I have a feeling (and a hope) that we'll learn a little more about Angel Batista (the badass David Zayas).
• A few people will learn Dexter's secret. I don't think the entire public will.

Want more? Wait until next Sunday. I hear this one's going to be a real killer.

Dexter is on Shotime every Sunday at 9/8 PM Central.

Review: The Duke Spirit "Ex-Voto - EP"

Main Entry: ex-vo·to Pronunciation: (")eks-'vO-(")tO

Etymology: Latin ex voto according to a vow

: a votive offering

Things with religious connotations have an aura of darkness... the sadism of the Egyptians pre-Exodus, original sin, incubi/succubi, Cain & Abel... look throughout religion, and you will find a very prominent darkness. So it makes sense to think that if you hear The Duke Spirit's brand-new Ex-Voto EP and try to imagine what their forthcoming album will be like, you've got something very hazy.

While Ex-Voto is surely not a departure from the sound radiating from their debut album Cuts Across the Land, it is quite darker. The keys throughout the four songs are noticably more minor, and frontwoman Liela Moss's trademark wail seems to be getting a little shakier.

Perhaps in order to start their fans off with something familiar, the EP opens with "Lassoo", which keeps in touch with their original sound, but is perhaps a bit more epic... and oh so angry. It is what we're used to, but at the same time, a wonderful surprise. The EP transitions very nicely into the soft, melancholic "Dog Roses". Moss retains her catty observance, but this track doesn't make her sound like the seductress she usually appears as (though she is still is, of course)... she sounds innocent, ethereal, and longing...

"A Wild Hope" is synchronous with the tone of "Lassoo" (catching the listener's attention quite effectively with the declaration "I wish I tasted like a buttered angel"), and once you've hit the third track, you can see that not one of the tracks has a positive tone. Moss is singing of heartbreak, mourning the past, unrequited love, skepticism...

In the world of art, negativity is usually something to feed off of... though heartbreak is what most spectators would guess, the feelings that these songs hold are very hard to describe. Whatever it is, the powerful feeling is emitted through the music of Ex-Voto... and quite successfully.

Ex-Voto may be less than ten minutes, but if you had doubts before, this will surely have you believing in The Duke Spirit.

Click and hear for yourself.

Remembering: Tony Wilson, 1950 - 2007

"What do you do?"
"Well... I'm Tony Wilson."
--from 24 Hour Party People (2002)

It saddens me very much to say that the music industry has lost a very key figure, and a true original. Anthony "Tony" Wilson, founder of the groundbreaking Factory Records and the notorious Hacienda Club, died in Manchester of cancer on August 10th. He was 57.
Tony Wilson was also the host of such British shows including So It Goes (shown left), After Dark, and MTV Europe's Remote Control. He was portrayed by friend Steve Coogan in 24 Hour Party People, in which he even played a tiny role as a television director. He also played himself in Coogan's other film, Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story.
Wilson helped to sculpt and popularize images of Manchester, rave culture, and several bands, including Joy Division, New Order, the Happy Mondays (who actually helped fund Wilson's cancer treatments), Durutti Column, and A Certain Ratio... bands that helped to be the refuge and inspiration for several confused and bored kids all over the world, for which I definitely know I'm grateful.
Wilson was a true original, and will be missed...
But the saddest part is that this death is found on few American headlines: the only ones I've found were from The Onion's A.V. Club and Pitchfork, I guess that a man who helped to take away the money-grubbing aspect of music just isn't as important as Emma Bunton's fucking baby being born.

24 Hour Party People might've advertized him as a twat... but I'll never forget you, you loveable twat.

Review: M.I.A. "Kala"

No matter how tough anyone seems on the exterior, everyone gets a little broken inside...

...but of course, in the eyes of the artist, this internal breakage is a golden opportunity.

If there's anyone tougher than Maya Arulpragasam, AKA "M.I.A.", let me know. The London-born Sri Lankan has really seen it all, but you don't see the woman shed a tear. It's not hard to say that M.I.A. is the toughest woman in the business.

M.I.A. surfaced onto the music scene with her smashing 2005 debut Arular, a colorful, powerful, and sometimes whimsical portrait of war, especially the war she dealt with. Arular was M.I.A.'s masculine, somber autobiography put into music, and she does a wonderful job of getting her point across. It felt perfect to anybody who disagreed with their government because of its powerful political messages.

Those who loved M.I.A. so much for the politics may be a bit disappointed with her long-awaited sophomore disc, Kala. While Arular is masculine and named after her father, Kala is for her mother. And you definitely see the difference-- when Arular dealt with feelings toward corporate music sharks, idiots in office, sexual publicity, and issues that a country goes through, Kala is for the feelings of the individual. You don't hear many political complaints on Kala, which focuses a lot on having a good time, clubbing, and most uncommonly, heartbreak.

After a break-up with American DJ Diplo, M.I.A. seems to have used her music for venting. The amazing Bollywood disco track "Jimmy" is bound to be a hit, and the number one reason might be that it is M.I.A.'s first love song (outside of an underground collaboration with rapper Amanda Blank, which can be heard on her MySpace). Despite the fact that a love song seemed unlikely, it works... and it's already a Top 40 hit in Japan.

While M.I.A. doesn't talk about politics much, she doesn't avoid them completely... single-that-never-was "Bird Flu" speaks of retaining strength and dignity in the face of conflict, "Paper Planes" is an addition to her opinions on war, and standout "$20" paints a vivid portrait of organized crime (while effectively sampling The Pixies' "Where Is My Mind?", a wonderfully unexpected choice). The politics might not be in-your-face, but they're still there.

M.I.A. pinpoints issues dead-on, and Kala seems to have quite a great understanding of the world. And it was made all over-- and sounds like it. You get the vibes of Australia ("Mango Pickle Down River"), India's glitzy on-screen culture ("Jimmy"), the UK rave scene ("XR2"), the Parisian club-banger scene ("Bamboo Banger")... she captured the essence of places she didn't even record in. M.I.A. seems to understand the world more than most politicians.

While Kala is different, it blissfully shows M.I.A.'s growth as an artist and human being. M.I.A. recently turned 30, which is a big thing in a person's life... it's almost the unspoken, official transition into complete adulthood. She seems to have done some thinking over it, but M.I.A. has definitely not gone soft. M.I.A. has matured since Arular, but still knows how to have fun. It seems she's making a sure statement out of the saying "Grow up, but don't grow old."

Kala finally drops on August 21st, and it's worth the wait.

"Fuck this t-shirt..."

My friend Katie told about the most officially awesome t-shirt maybe ever.

The shirt, appriopriately given the title "Spoilt", is at Threadless and it banks on one of the most aggravatingly awesome ideas ever.

Giving away the ending to such films like Psycho, Planet of the Apes, Fight Club, The Sixth Sense, Donnie Darko, and more, this shirt is $15-17 and totally worth it.

But as a warning, you will probably lose all your friends for wearing this.