Boredom Combat: July Edition Begins!

Remember kids, if you're bored, there's still plenty to do this summer, regardless of where you are. Another month is gone, everyone have fun in June?
July'll kick even more ass.
Here's what we've got coming up:

3: Highly-buzzed and critically-acclaimed dark comedy The Wackness hits New York and Los Angeles theaters today.
8: The Los Angeles Zoo stays up late tonight. Come for the tropical atmosphere, stay for the Latin/Jazz music. (Los Angeles, CA)
9: For those who miss the summer of love, don't miss a free performance of the classic hippie musical Hair! at the Theory flagship store at the corner of Greenwich and Gansevoort. (New York, NY)
11: Journey to the Center of the Earth comes out... in 3D! Come on kids, do you have anything better to do?
12: Missbehave hosts another fab party! This time, come down to Union Pool and watch Nina Sky, Queen Majesty and Radio Rose, not to mention get cheap beer, free tacos and some Nikita swag. (Brooklyn, NY)
17: FIB (Festival Interacional de Benicassim) begins! Get that weekend in Madrid started out right! Prepare to catch musical vets like Siouxsie Sioux, Morrissey, Spiritualized, and at long last, the triumphant return of My Bloody Valentine. (Madrid, Spain)
18: The Dark Knight finally flies into theaters! Come to the midnight show and dress up, and don't forget to have fun!
19: The Pitchfork Music Festival rolls into its second day. From here to the 20th, bands like Animal Collective, Jarvis Cocker, !!!, Spiritualized, Bon Iver and El Guincho will play. (Chicago, IL)
22: The Los Angeles Zoo stays up late again! This time, check out World Music Night. (Los Angeles, CA)
25: D-Fest begins, and it's bigger than last year! Come here to see acts like The Roots, The Disco Biscuits, Phantom Planet, Apples in Stereo and a cavalcade of celebrated local acts like Callupsie and Here is There. (Tulsa, OK)
26: Studio B hosts the Desilicious Bollyburg Bash! Prepare for Bollywood to invade Williamsburg. Ashu, DJ Bobby and DJ Ipek will spin. (Brooklyn, NY)

...and definitely more to come! Stay safe, kids, and have an awesome Independence Day!

Boredom Combat: engrish.com

Broken English is, without a doubt, one of the most undeniably cute phenomena Asia has ever spawned. Unfortunately, thanks to the imminence of Beijing's 2008 Olympics, revisions are being made all over the city to make signs and such more legible. How will us easily amused Anglophones entertain ourselves now?
Well, we've been given another reason to love the internet. Enter engrish.com, a mecca of poor translations, ironic misconceptions and bad grammar.

The whole thing kept me entertained for a whole night. I pretty much didn't leave my chair, and sounded ridiculous, what with the innocuous laughter straining from room and such.
The entire website is a knee-slapper, but I highly recommend looking through the "Clothing" category-- gems I found included, but were not limited to, a young Asian boy with a cap reading "Senior Citizen: Doing the Best With What I Have Left", a baseball team by the name of "Bastards", an adorable little girl in a marijuana-leaf jacket, and a no-nonsense t-shirt made by none other than "FAMOUSCRAP".

What you waiting for? Stop making sense: head over to engrish.com.

Boredom Combat: Summer Calendar Edition!

Without much further ado, kids... SUMMER'S FINALLY HERE!
The freedom is wonderful-- but at the same time, very pressing. With all that spare time, boredom creeps in much more easily. How to beat it? Never fear, Boredom Combat is here!

JUNE
14: The NYC Food Film Festival hits Long Island for the second year. Don't be afraid that the movie will make you hungry-- you'll be able to eat whatever's onscreen after the viewings! Come early for a cheesesteak party! (New York, NY)
15: The Fourth Annual Renegade Craft Fair sweeps New York for one more day at McCarren Park! Get rare shit from over 200 vendors, free food, and hear some sweet DJ action. (Brooklyn, NY)
21: The Coney Island Mermaid Parade is today! Watch King Neptune and the Queen Mermaid take over Coney Island, and stick around afterward for the ball, where there will be live performances, sideshow acts and burlesque from the hottest ladies in the east coast! (Brooklyn, NY)
23: Topshop Wants Your Rubbish! From here until the 29th, get active with Topshop's eco-fashion activities. Do it live in any store in London, Manchester, Dublin or Glasgow-- or go online. Click on the link above, and have fun!
28: Central Park is hosting a HUGE water fight at Sheep's Meadow, 65th & 65th, at 1pm! Spread the word, but don't really, because then, it's even better. Wish I could go... (New York, NY)

JULY
2: The Henley Royal Regatta starts today, giving you the chance to rub elbows with aristocrats and attend a tried-and-true event that's made global history. (Oxfordshire, England)
3: Highly-buzzed and critically-acclaimed dark comedy The Wackness hits New York and Los Angeles theaters today.
8: The Los Angeles Zoo stays up late tonight. Come for the tropical atmosphere, stay for the Latin/Jazz music. (Los Angeles, CA)
9: For those who miss the summer of love, don't miss a free performance of the classic hippie musical Hair! at the Theory flagship store at the corner of Greenwich and Gansevoort. (New York, NY)
11: Journey to the Center of the Earth comes out... in 3D! Come on kids, do you have anything better to do?
12: Missbehave hosts another fab party! This time, come down to Union Pool and watch Nina Sky, Queen Majesty and Radio Rose, not to mention get cheap beer, free tacos and some Nikita swag. (Brooklyn, NY)
17: FIB (Festival Interacional de Benicassim) begins! Get that weekend in Madrid started out right! Prepare to catch musical vets like Siouxsie Sioux, Morrissey, Spiritualized, and at long last, the triumphant return of My Bloody Valentine. (Madrid, Spain)
18: The Dark Knight finally flies into theaters! Come to the midnight show and dress up, and don't forget to have fun!
19: The Pitchfork Music Festival rolls into its second day. From here to the 20th, bands like Animal Collective, Jarvis Cocker, !!!, Spiritualized, Bon Iver and El Guincho will play. (Chicago, IL)
22: The Los Angeles Zoo stays up late again! This time, check out World Music Night. (Los Angeles, CA)
25: D-Fest begins, and it's bigger than last year! Come here to see acts like The Roots, The Disco Biscuits, Phantom Planet, Apples in Stereo and a cavalcade of celebrated local acts like Callupsie and Here is There. (Tulsa, OK)
26: Studio B hosts the Desilicious Bollyburg Bash! Prepare for Bollywood to invade Williamsburg. Ashu, DJ Bobby and DJ Ipek will spin. (Brooklyn, NY)

AUGUST
1: Lollapalooza begins! Catch a performance from some favorites of mine like Mark Ronson, Gogol Bordello, CSS, Spank Rock, The Kills, Black Lips, Uffie and many, many more! I'll be at home, jealous. (Chicago, IL)
8: Pineapple Express, Judd Apatow's latest opus, stumbles onto the big screen! Hurrah hooray!
29: Towelhead, Alan Ball (writer of American Beauty, Six Feet Under)'s directorial debut, comes out in theaters. This is one I'm very excited for.

More to come soon, perhaps!

Boredom Combat: Junko Mizuno's Fairy Tales

All those little stories we heard as children have a darker background. The original Nutcracker involved gory rat slaughter, Ring Around the Rosie was written about the Bubonic Plague, all that stuff. But all the grime was removed so these stories were more easily digestable. Whatevz to that. This results in children who are not as intrigued hearing the censored story as they are when they hear of its dirtier backgrounds!

Badass Japanese manga artist Junko Mizuno respects this theory. This is why she started making a series of darker fairy tales for a trilogy in 2002 that I just picked up. Based upon fairy tales everyone knows, Mizuno has taken it to the next level with Cinderalla, Hansel and Gretel, and Princess Mermaid.

Cinderalla, the most psychedelic of the three, is the story we all know, except this time, the whole family is made up of zombies and Cinderalla is in love with a zombie pop star. There is totally zombie sex.

Hansel & Gretel is the classic turned ninja style. Gretel is a loud, sexy schoolgirl who beats up bitches, and she and her brother have to go save their town when all the food has disappeared! This one is a real cliffhanger and the funnest and fastest read.

Princess Mermaid is by far the darkest of the series. A tragically-centered Little Mermaid, this book involves a family of mermaid prostitutes killing customers to gain vengeance from their dead mother. Our main character Julie has fallen in love with a human related to the men who killed the mermaids' mother...

Such worthwhile reads. Beautifully done, so inspired. Each story is intriguing within itself. I recommend starting from the beginning (organized alphabetically for convenience, I know). Though these tales are not always reminiscent of ones we've acquainted ourselves with, inspiration flows within these crazy pages.

What's great is that you read them so fast.

What sucks is that you read them so fast...

Boredom Combat: Ian Fleming's James Bond Series

Living in a fairly small town is hard work. Boredom comes very easily for anyone (ask them, they'll see), and having fun things to do is hard to come up with.
That's why I'm here-- having to wonder all the time is quite challenging, not to mention strenous. I'll find something fun, and post it so you can try for yourself. You might enjoy it, you might not-- if you didn't, at least you killed time!

Just a few days ago, I was at the library, getting books for term paper sources. I decided to have fun in the fiction section and stumbled upon something I always knew existed, but never took the time to delve into-- a copy of the first James Bond novel by Ian Fleming, Casino Royale, in a very sexy pulp design*. I borrowed it, unspeakably eager to read it.
Needless to say, I devoured that shit.
I can't believe I'd never tried these before! Anyone who hasn't really should try it. It kills so much time that it happens to kill time you probably should've used doing something else. So much fun, I highly recommend it!

But TAKE NOTE: in order to read these, one must have an open mind. Fleming is notorious for his sexism and racism, especially in what I'm reading now, the stereotype-latent Live and Let Die (not to mention You Only Live Twice). Don't take it too seriously, have fun with it-- that's what they're made for!

*The 007 series published in pulpy covers are very praiseworthy and I've found really, really fit in with the book. These covers, designed by Richie Fahey, are so much fun to look at, which you can right here.