The Clampdown

This is where it gets serious, kids. No more shenanigans. In about a week from now, I will have to send my college application through cyberspace. This means I've got to work like Ebenezer Scrooge on Christmas Eve, not to mention that I have essays to revise, have read, freak out over... as much as I love writing this, from here until next Wednesday night or so, I'll be swamped in that front. But come around then, I'll be in the fabulous city of New York and the fun can really begin!
So you can look forward to then. And I can worry a whole bunch and frantically carry to and from my house to several teachers and counselours. It's gonna be a tough week. Wish me luck, darlings...

...and I'll see you in New York!
Y Lolita Hazed

Blast the Past: Nelly Furtado "Turn Off the Light"

I've always really liked Nelly Furtado. When she came around in 2000, her brand of natural, funky folk-pop was certainly something that hadn't been heard before. Her debut Whoa, Nelly! was pretty impressive and gave us great songs like "I'm Like a Bird" and my favorite, "Turn Off the Light" (video above). She was a sleeper success, full of style, street smarts and a lot of things to say. Then she came out with the wonder of 2002's vastly-underrated Folklore, an album that hypnotized me immediately. (It was pretty much the soundtrack of my sixth grade year, and I highly recommend it.) So when she joined Timbaland's growing posse two years ago, I was very disappointed. While Loose has some okay songs, it was like all the other-- in Nelly terms-- "Shit on the Radio", you know? Considering how fresh her preceding albums were, it was sad.
I've had a very nice little sentimental connection with Nelly. After all, her prominence in the years 2000 to 2002 coincided with my preadolescence. So it can be understood that when I think of her, I like to think of her like this.

*Sigh*. This is such a good song.

Girls on Film: Miss Spider (James and the Giant Peach)

Whinier Disney chicks can pack up and go home, because none trump the hotness of James and the Giant Peach's Miss Spider. Played by fellow sexpot Susan Sarandon, the girl thrives in darkness. I cannot resist old school goth, and if a children's cartoon character personified it, it would be Miss Spider. And her hot beatnik look? Um, seriously. She wears three pairs of stiletto boots at once. Charlotte Olympia would be proud.
A fiercely independent spirit, she prefers being alone. The other bugs naturally fear her, so she relocates to dark corners (and fittingly opens up a badass nightclub in New York City at the end). But beneath her scarier exterior lies a nurturing, appreciative soul, and a heroine who will risk all to get her friends out of a funk.

But this femme fatale is not without a trace of danger, of course-- on set, her live counterpart bit little Paul Terry, so frightened that he left the biz for good. Now that's what I call an intimidation factor.

Lily Allen keeps getting better and better!

If you've been keeping up with Lily Allen this year, she's released quite a lot of new songs, like "I Don't Know", "I Could Say", the not-to-be released "Who'd Have Known?" and "Guess Who Batman". Well just recently, she posted what will be her 2009 album's first single-- "Everyone's At It"-- and I'm wowed. It's the best she's done all year! It's exactly what fans have come to expect from her: on-point social observations, a healthy amount of piss-taking and of course, a whole lot of fun. Listen below and fall in love!

I swear. This girl gets me more and more excited for her album with every song she puts out. I love this woman so much.
Step back, ladies-- pop's reigning brain is back! (And we can breathe a collective sigh of relief.)

Another One Bites the Dust: Radar folds

After COSMOgirl!'s folding back in early fall, I wasn't thinking of any particular publications that would be next-- strangely enough, I didn't think any would be. So I didn't see this coming at all. I was shocked and saddened to see that one of the smartest magazines out there today will no longer be in print soon. They've also sold their website to National Enquirer, and it will be relaunched in 2009 and probably be completely different in every way.

This sucks.

For those who were never clued in on Radar's greatness, the magazine was a very refreshing dose of intelligently satiric commentary on politics, pop culture, social psychology, sex, money and everything else we occupy ourselves with. Its articles were explorative and enlightening, but unfortunately, its audience was not vast enough and their skill in business needed improvement-- thus the fold occuring.

*Sigh*. Goodbye, Radar. I'll really miss you.

Y Lolita Hazed

[News and picture courtesy of Gawker]

Some albums have weaved themselves into my life story.

A few years ago, when some friends came over, I decided I was going to clean out my CD collection. I gave away three that I can remember-- Belle & Sebastian's If You're Feeling Sinister (purchased when I met a boy that I was, at the time, still hurting from) and Elliott Smith's self-titled and Either/Or, which were kinda my emo middle-school albums that I thought I was past.
A few days ago I was all, DAMN, I want those Elliott Smith CD's back. I was so unbelievably jonesing for them out of nowhere. My friend gave them back to me and I'm super-happy. I'm listening to the self-titled right now, which is definitely one of my favorite albums of all time and I'm surprised I'd let go so easily.

God, I used to know ALL the words to this album.

My attachment to this album reminded me that I have so many other CD's that have been a part of my life story. They include, but are not limited to:

1. The Dumb & Dumber soundtrack. God. My neighbors and I used to do the craziest dances ever to "New Age Girl" whenever it was possible. It NEVER got old, which is the wonderful thing about being a kid, you know? It's definitely a reminder of one of the happiest times of my life so far.
   
2. Any Jock Jams CD. My neighbors and I were OBSESSED. We'd listen to it every day. It still isn't old!
3. AND OMG Hanson's Middle of Nowhere! Rep Tulsa! A big part of my childhood. So many people I love have this album on repeat-- my precious neighbors I keep talking about and two of my best friends I can think of.
   
4. Any Pure Disco CD ever made. In third grade, we decided disco parties were the coolest thing in the whole wide world. We were pretty awesome kids. Nine years later, a disco party is still one of the most bomb things I can think of.
   
5. The Dangerous Minds soundtrack. My mom has played this constantly my whole life. It's actually to my left, right now. SO MANY CAR TRIPS. Always "Don't Go There" by 24K, which is the best thing ever to dance to. If my family had a definitive CD, it would be this or Michael Jackson's Bad-- which is sad, because the latter kinda sucks.
   
6. Elliott Smith's self-titled, of course. OMFG I would lay on my floor and just stare and the ceiling and listen to it. I was sew emo.
   
7. Rooney's self-titled. MY FRIENDS AND I THOUGHT WE WERE SO COOL! We were OBSESSED! We all went and saw them together in freshman year. It was intense. It was pretty much the last thing we did together. We weren't that close.
   
8. Belle & Sebastian's If You're Feeling Sinister. Yeah, yeah, so I bought it with a boy who spent at least three years fucking with me. Don't want to give him power, but yeah, it took a lot of my time these past few years, so it's kind of a must on this list. It's also important because of another boy I met in freshman year that I wish I hadn't turned down. He and I would sing "Like Dylan in the Movies" together, it was so cute. He doesn't talk to me anymore. I still think about him.

Whoo! Okay, personal moment over! I thought I had so few, but damn, I could go on forever!
What about you guys?

It's all been done... or has it?

Oh my GOD, over the past few years, slutty costumes have REALLY gone out of control. Really. I've seen a slutty bumblebee, a slutty Care Bear, a slutty Harry Potter... dear God, I'd thought I'd seen them all. But as the years go on, I just seem to find ones that trump the ridiculousness of yore. For example:Someone, somewhere in this country, will or actually has worn this. Notice how the eyes are so strategically placed? The slutty costume industry is seeming more and more like the porn industry-- any idea is acceptable, no matter how ridiculous, and if it's been done before, we'll just do it again. Sooner or later, all the ideas will be used.

But I was wondering... what hasn't been done? What would be the most unexpected slutty costumes? Here are my ideas...

• a pile of laundry
• a bottle of bleach
• a tree
• a trash can
• an ear
• a house
• a marshmallow
• Barack Obama
• a rabid possum

What's the dumbest slut costume you've ever seen? I'm all ears.

Also, my ideas could improve. I'm on a mission to make this list better, so what's your ridiculous idea that you don't think anyone's ever done?