Confidence isn't dirty

Have you ever noticed how so many women are ashamed of saying they look hot? Self-loathing is such a big thing throughout a girl's adolescence that confidence can seem shameful, much like masturbation and the appreciation of nudity to those who have grown up sheltered. Women have been conditioned to believe that loving yourself is wrong.

Which brings to me the following... what do you think Kelis' "Milkshake" is about?

Go ahead, guess. I've had so many conversations about this topic with people, and I have heard the most unlimited amount of crazy answers. (I could tell you my favorite, but it's quite NSFW.)

There is absolutely no obvious sexual innuendo in this song. Really, look at the lyrics (not to mention the ridiculous opinions people have of its meaning). And if you've ever read her column in Missbehave, you'll know this woman seriously knows her shit. She is a strong feminist, and while it might not appear as such, "Milkshake" is indeed a feminist anthem. I have a great amount of respect for Kelis and believe she is much smarter than people would think-- and has anyone ever considered how tongue-in-cheek this song may be? Come on, she drops a bunch of really vague shit into a song, advertises it to have sexual connotations (the video, the single cover to the right), and leads people to create the craziest ideas of its meaning-- while she has said herself that it is about confidence, sex appeal. If you think about it all, it makes for a BRILLIANT parody of the neverending sexual stereotyping of female artists, as she successfully turns a concept completely on its head.

Another constantly mistaken song is Tweet's sexy hit "Oops (Oh My)". While VH1 trashed it as blatant narcissism, many believe it to be about masturbation (a meaning she rejects, contrary to the song's implications of such)-- when really, the song revolves around the singer's original lack of confidence. She's gone through some rough patches in her life, and at one point, she was so ashamed of how she looked (upon her self-discovery: "I'm turning red, who could this be?") that she was planning on killing herself. As crazy as it sounds, she was saved by a phone call from her dear friend Missy Elliott, who she now calls her Guardian Angel, asking her to provide vocals for her album Miss E... So Addictive. Tweet has said "Oops (Oh My)" is a discovery of how beautiful she really is.

It's depressing how so many seem to believe that women are so desperate for fame that they will sexually exploit themselves through music-- but of course, so many women like that HAVE existed (*cough*, Pussycat Dolls, *cough*) that culture has gotten itself into a pit of believing they will sing about anything to make money (no thanks to former Jesus freak Katy Perry's female-degrading frat party antics-- you know the one I mean, sorry Alex), which my heroine Lily Allen has so wonderfully parodied in "The Fear" ("I'll take my clothes off / and it will be shameless / 'Cuz everyone knows / that that's how you get famous"). And obviously, that's a girl who has learned to understand the meaning of "Milkshake".

So why can't everyone else? And what the hell is up with this sexualization of female confidence?

You tell me.