Thursday, December 27, 2007

I am Veruca Salt, personified.

Uffie and Revolver streetwear have collaborated and it's enough to make me want to scream.
Look at this fucking hot-ass letterman jacket.
I want it. NOW. (Do you see what I mean?)

It is (rather unfortunately) available at the highly-elitist Colette streetwear site Sold Out. Si vous dépêchez, peut-être vous pouvez l'avoir...
For a whopping over-$250 price tag.

I hate the rich.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Stopping Point: Celebrity Perfumes

If you're a celebrity with a lot of money to spare, what can you do on your free time? Gazing at yourself in the mirror has become too boring. No, you need a better way to prove your complete megalomania!

Presenting the most annoying concept ever: the celebrity perfume.

After J.Lo decided to go crazy with perfume-making, celebrities were reminded that they, too, can make perfumes. So since then, we've had to endure our trial of perfumes endorsed by (coincidentally?) the most annoying celebrities ever: Sarah Jessica Parker, Maria Sharapova, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Victoria Beckham, Antonio Banderas, P. Diddy (with the hilariously-titled "Unforgivable"), Alan Cumming (no, I don't get it, either)... it's a travesty to see how many people think the public would want to pay to smell like them.

But recently, a glimmer of hope shone from the wreckage. Those who see it may take it as a curse, but it is truly a blessing: the recent addition to this awkward family is enough to make every self-promoting celebrity perfumer take a moment to stop in their tracks.

I give you Driven, by Derek Jeter (exclusively at Avon!).

Derek Jeter's choice to spend his time and money on a perfume that will not sell should prove him to the willing scapegoat of the celebrity-endorsed perfume industry.

Unless, of course, he's totally serious.

(In spite of it of all, Merry Christmas from Lolita Hazed ^_^)

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Review: Walk Hard - The Dewey Cox Story

In 2007, not so much has stood out. It's been a surprisingly uneventful year in culture. But of all the people that have tried to, Judd Apatow has certainly made much more of a name for himself this past year. Though he's been making critically-acclaimed pieces for more than a decade, only recently has his name started to hit the majority of American households-- namely this year, with the releases of Knocked Up, Superbad, and this month, Walk Hard.

Promising to be "the dumbest movie to beg for an Oscar", Walk Hard obviously parodies the award-magnet biopics of the decade, with the most blatant being 2005's Walk the Line. I don't even need to explain the connections to make them clear.

John C. Reilly (Boogie Nights, Chicago, a hell of a lot more) plays the film's title character, Dewey Cox, a farm-boy who goes through an existential crisis after accidentally chopping his prodigal brother in half. He goes on to perform at his school talent show and leaves home at 14 (an age played by Reilly with naive precision) after his saccharine music is perceived as Satanic. He marries and has several children before gaining record company attention by performing at an erotic swing dance club. He then records his opus, "Walk Hard", and is literally an instant sensation. We see him travel through the '50s and into the following eras, where begins to experiment with drugs (usually with the cosmopolitan drummer played by Tim Meadows) and several obvious cultural references: he parodies not only Johnny Cash, but also Bob Dylan, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, David Bowie... the list probably goes on. It's exactly what the audience members expect.

But most unexpectedly is the music of the film and the reaction: though all the music is purposely stupid, it's certainly not bad. (My favorites are the punk version of "Walk Hard", the badass "Guilty as Charged", the nonsense Dylan parody "Royal Jelly" and the midget protest anthem "Let Me Hold You (Little Man)") If you listen to Reilly, he's not a bad singer. It's not a serious role at all, but this isn't a man who takes himself too seriously, which is evident in his performance. He really is the only person for the role.

Other standout performances include the whole of Reilly's band, who just provides the movie with a better time. The Office's Jenna Fischer is also exactly as bimbo-y as her June Carter-ripoff character should be. There are several actors whose performances are a bit too hammy, but I'll let you be the judge of who (*ahem*, Jack White, *ahem*).

People should not be going into theaters expecting a message or anything. Once you reach the credits of this film, you can't really even say anything about it. The ending is totally cheesy, but the people who made it knew what they were doing. It's a movie made to not be taken seriously. The best thing I can compare it to is a skilled prostitute: all you should expect is a good time, and nothing more.

If you're unconvinced, watch the first ten minutes for yourself and decide whether or not you think it's worth your money.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Lolita Hazed's 2007 Hot List

10 hot items from '07

1. Lily Allen. Chick's been criticized all over the block, but God, is she a breath of fresh air. I dig her so much. Her debut album was splendid and I'm stoked for next, which is supposed to come out before her baby is due. (How about that, anyway? Kids these days.)
2. Mooka Kinney. Alison Lewis & Rachel Antonoff are total sweethearts. Their creations were also seen all over this year on the bods of supermodels, Zooey Deschanel, Scarlett Johannson (sp?), and certainly more to come. (I'm wearing their swan dress in my profile picture!)
3. Nu rave. It's dumb now, of course, but that shit was hot while it lasted. Here's hoping that next time, it actually IS stuff to rave to. Klaxons are kick-ass, but they're nothing to get the glowsticks out to, save for "Atlantis to Interzone".
4. CSS. First gaining attention while touring with the Klaxons, these kids got a lot of well-deserved attention this year. These kids from Sao Paulo are certainly repping it to the fullest! (Chances are you heard them in the iPod Touch commercial.)
5. Mark Ronson. Even hotter than the lady at #1 was the man behind her-- Mssr Mark Ronson, the man responsible for the popularity of both the notorious Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen. Those hot horn-driven beats? All Mr. Ronson.
6. Judd Apatow. God, is there ANYWHERE this guy wasn't this year? Dude was fucking everywhere. I'm not saying it bugged me-- quite contrary. Knocked Up was exactly what comedy needed: a healthy dose of realism. We'll be seeing a lot of this wunderkind in years to come.
7. Ed Banger Records. The company's been around for awhile, but 2007 is the highest they've ever come. The much-awaited release of Justice's debut, †, was a milestone for the previously tiny little record company that is now covering all of Paris.
8. Claw Money. You may not have heard of this lady in past years, but in 2007, the badass femme graffiti artist started to make her way into today's street-artist elite. With her hella sweet (and highly-coveted) Nike-collab kicks (Blazers, Vandals), she also started to make her way onto the bodies of the famous (M.I.A., Mena Suvari, Lil' Mama are some).
9. Bat for Lashes. Natasha Khan is nothing if not amazing. Fur and Gold was a breathtaking debut and Khan and her ladies have made a sure profession of weaving eerie fairy tales into music. I'm on pins and needles to see what they they have up their sleeve next year!
10. Josh Schwartz. This dude's everywhere, too. His debut TV series The OC might be over, but Schwartz didn't take that lying down-- he also popped out Gossip Girl and Chuck, which have both been getting mad rave reviews and are picked up for second seasons. Guy's getting love and he deserves it. Make way for the next Aaron Spelling, bitches.

Merry Christmas from Goldfrapp!

Funtime! Alison and Will from Goldfrapp have an adorable little Christmas present on their website. Check it out at their website and then click "News". Cute little Christmas song our deer friends wrote, so enjoy!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Albums I'm hella excited for in 2008

This whole thing will probably be added to constantly.

Annie, Don't Stop
be your own PET, Get Awkward
CSS, Donkey
The Duke Spirit, Neptune
Goldfrapp, Seventh Tree
Kid Sister, Koko B. Ware
The Kills, Midnight Boom
Lily Allen, T.B.A.
N.A.S.A., T.B.A.
Ratatat, LP3
Uffie, T.B.A.

Love Letter: Missbehave

Dearest Missbehave,

When Nylon stopped being genuine and started shooting for an anorexic club-hopper audience, my heart sank. I thought I'd never love again.
Until there was you.
You came into my life, and became the first magazine I've ever read cover-to-cover. Your badassed fearlessness was enough to just break my lil' heart. And what with the coolest cover chicks ever? Lily Allen? Mena Suvari? M.I.A.? Amazing. Beautiful covers every time. But Missbehave, you've taught me that sometimes what's inside is as good, if not better than, the outside.
You've taken articles teen magazines would have, but polished 'em up and made them awesome so we can read them. Trap a boyfriend? Stick it to your ex? I love you for that.
You've kept me entertained during the most boring of school days and were there on stormy days where all I had was you and a warm fire.
You're so fun and unafraid. God, do you rep it. (Ever since Issue #4 came out, I've started collecting you. All I need now is #1 and #3.)
Love you to pieces and pieces. Saw the picture of the upcoming Issue #6 with Lydia Hearst on the cover. Hella eye-candy. Must have it right now.

Y from a hypnotized devotee

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The WTF: No. 4: The eco-craze has reached new levels of idiocy.

Hey, all you club kids! Do you ever stop and wonder, "God, all this energy I'm using through mixers, turntables, lighting... that can't be good for the environment." Well, wonder no more, because just at you can buy eco-friendly dance equipment, namely a, prepare yourself, solar-powered disco ball.

Because every boogie machine I know gets down in broad daylight.
I'm guessing whoever created this was either high or kidding. If you're trying to be eco-friendly and you want us to take you seriously, it's a little hard to when you make a fucking solar-powered disco ball. While we're at it, we don't we treat some candy ravers to saliva-powered water while we steal their pacifiers? God.

To those going green: this is just giving the opposition reasons to laugh.

P.S. I still love you, Fred Flare. Mad propz.


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