Tuesday, July 31, 2007

"Fuck this t-shirt..."

My friend Katie told about the most officially awesome t-shirt maybe ever.

The shirt, appriopriately given the title "Spoilt", is at Threadless and it banks on one of the most aggravatingly awesome ideas ever.

Giving away the ending to such films like Psycho, Planet of the Apes, Fight Club, The Sixth Sense, Donnie Darko, and more, this shirt is $15-17 and totally worth it.

But as a warning, you will probably lose all your friends for wearing this.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Most Awesome Thing I've Seen All Day

As I was having fun with Google, I came upon the most wonderful thing maybe ever.

Jamie Hewlett, pop artist famous for underground comic Tank Girl and the man who brought the Gorillaz to life, illustrated an entire comic for Pulp's hit "Common People".

Gaze at the grainy glory right here:

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


For those of you who are sitting at home, thinking, "Man, I wish I could find a cock ring at the drugstore," good news. Because now you can.

Recently, Trojan has released a line of cock rings. No joke.
There are several thoughts that this provokes for me...
1. What the fuck?
2. Why do men get to have all the fun?! Urrrrghh.
"What the fuck" is the main one, though. My feminism will stay out of this here topic.
Of course, considering the laws against sexual instruments being sold in certain states, you can't get them in Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, and the like.
Oh, you poor erect Southerners.

Monday, July 16, 2007

The WTF: No. 2-- Scion's Scare Tactics

Scare tactics have been used since the dawn of time.
They've been used in religion.
They've been used by your parents to keep you from making mistakes.
They've been used by your teachers for no reason at all.
Now Scion is following suit and deciding to use scare tactics for a ridiculously freaky new ad campaign that makes absolutely no sense.

This commercial said absolutely nothing about cars.
Below the surface, what could this commercial be trying to tell us? Buy our car, or else...

...freaky munchkins with sharp teeth will play volleyball with your head.

Damn, they've found my weakness. Okay, Scion, I'll buy your car...

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The WTF: No. 1

There is some really crazy stuff on the Internet, but would you know these things if it weren't for me?


But I'm still here, just in case...

Hey all you stoners! Tired of just smoking pot? Wanna do more with your experience?
I give you THC: The Game. What is it? Well, basically, it is the premiere game where you get high and embarrass yourself in front of all your friends-- hey, just like Saturday night! I think I've played this game before! This game is very seemingly quite key for a lot of stoners, considering it will keep them from leaving the house and embarrassing themselves in public.
So is there a special pothead in your life who needs something interesting do when he is frying his brain? It's at Urban Outfitters for $9.99, if you really want it, but before you get it, ask yourself...
What the fuck?!
You have probably spent late nights watching TV, happening to catch a tiny bit of porn, and think to yourself... what is the appeal? You, of course, need something better. You need Porn for Women, which is 96 colors pages of men... doing chores, and saying super-hot phrases such as "I love what you've done with your hair." Oooh, yeah! I'm sure that once you stumble upon this in your bookstore, if you flip through this, you really won't be thinking, "Oh, God, this is so hot!" You will most likely be thinking this:
"What the fuck?!"
Think you've been confused enough?
I give you this to ponder upon:

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Review: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Fourth year is over, the kids are past their puberty struggles, and Hogwarts is crazier than ever. While school is normally a struggle, the departure of Mad Eye Moody (Brendan Gleeson), has brought forth a new Dark Arts teacher, Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton), who will really give the kids something to whine about-- especially Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe).
Harry's long-term battle with Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) had given him a near-expulsion over the summer, and Harry sure as hell isn't willing to shut up about it. Nobody in town wants to believe that Voldemort is back, but a secret collective called The Order of the Phoenix is preparing for the worst. And as Ms Umbridge is teaching the kids absolutely nothing but what not to do, the kids decide they need a real teacher who has dealt with the dark arts-- Harry. So they decide to take matters into their own hands and create Dumbledore's Army.

But preparing for a sudden attack from a demonic army isn't easy when you have a stubborn, skeptic bitch for a teacher. Umbridge is determined to take complete control of Hogwarts, and with her constant additions of hellish and unjust rules, the badass kids of Dumbledore's Army decide to practice in private in the Room of Requirement. And while they do so, Umbridge has her fascist goons spy on the kids, constantly adding more restrictions and bribes in order to catch these kids in the game. But once a certain someone of the army narcs them out, Dumbledore saves Harry's ass, and while Harry is safe, their secret completes Umbridge's goal for take-over of Hogwarts, which is beginning to look much more like Nazi Germany than modern England. Before Dumbledore's Army can save the world from treacherous darkness, they are given their most badass mission yet: rebel.

Staunton's performance as a heinous pink dictator is sure to get her places-- the woman is so convincing that I heard the audience cheer when the students set her off. And Evanna Lynch's breakthrough as the quiet and eccentric Luna Lovegood is so quirky that I found myself relating to her-- but it is no secret that the true stand-out here is Helena Bonham Carter as the wildly wicked Bellatrix Lestrange. Carter suits the roles so perfectly that nobody else could've even been in question for it.

But the best part of David Yates' film is that you will see Hogwarts at its darkest... and absolute prettiest. Yates does an incredible job of bringing everything together, and making the necessary things stand out, and it truly shows in the cinematography. Lights are vivid pink and green, contrasted with sleek black. If there is any Harry Potter film to have undeniable style, it is The Order of the Phoenix. This style shows itself very well in Harry's dreams and in the final climactic battle scene. The sets are made to perfection is this film (especially Umbridge's fatally pink torture chamber), and the memories are so wonderfully compiled that it made me shiver a bit. Everything is put to perfection in this movie, which is not just substantial in plot, but total splendour for the eyes (they will eat it up, trust me).

And where to go from here? Yates has been confirmed to direct Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and in a prediction for its quality, if it's as promising as this film, bring it on.


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