OMG, '09 TV!

Three awesome shows come back in January, WOO!

Gossip Girl (January 5, 8/7 C, CW)

So Chuck Bass is suicidal and whatnot. He's probably not going to die, they just want you to think that. But still, I really hope that when Chuck Bass DOES die, "I'm Chuck Bass" are indeed his last words, later to become his epitaph. Blair will place flowers upon his gravestone, quickly glance at the all too true engraving, and weep, whilst muttering to herself, "I'm Blair." (Please look at this icon, by the way. I think I could look at it all day.)

Scrubs (January 6, 9/8 C, ABC)

Thank GOD for the writer's strike cuz Scrubs is back for one more season! Woo! This show has been out of my life one year too long. Meanwhile, JD has facial hair and I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

Secret Diary of a Call Girl (January 18, 10:30/9:30 C, Showtime)

More Ben! More Hannah! More presumably unresolved friend-to-friend sexual tension! More pretty lingerie to fawn over! ZOMG get excited with me!!

Sunday Night Fight

Last night, I finally watched the season premiere of Dexter. I was pretty excited for something new, but within just the first few minutes, I was so bored that I contemplated leaving before it ended. The storyline was trite, unoriginal, and feels almost exactly the same as the beginning of last season. New, hard-ass district attorney? Debra trying to go celibate and get her big case? Every character except Rita feels like they're in the exact same place as they were a year ago. And I don't think I ever noticed how many cheesy jokes are used until I saw this episode. Were the lines always this cheesy? I wanted so badly at some moments to tell Michael C. Hall to just shut up-- and that's saying a lot. I want to marry him. The sex was hot, too, but after three times of the exact same thing, that got old, too.
As usual, it was pretty-- but it was so poorly written. Compared to the nearly-flawless adrenaline flow they brought out almost instantly last season, this was a total yawn. I don't think they should ever have resolved so much of the season 2 plot-- maybe then, I would see some genius.

It's on again tomorrow and I'm not sure I'll be watching-- it turns out that Dexter and my new obsession True Blood are going to be on at the same time. It's surprising-- the two goriest shows on digital cable duking it out for the same spot. Obviously, it'll be a rough fight-- but if it comes to me choosing between my favorite Six Feet Under alums, sorry Michael C. Hall, but Alan Ball wins. Sookie Stackhouse 43vz!


In other TV news: South Park starts on Wednesday!! Who else is totally excited?!

Saturday TV Funhouse! TV Funhouse!

(I know it's not Saturday, bear with me.)
August is halfway over and us TV addicts can start to get super excited about the fun that will commence this fall! The days keep getting crossed off the calendar and the mayhem draws nearer and nearer...
Here's what I know I'm excited for (in order of appearance):

Gossip Girl (CW): 9/1
OMFG guyths! The teenage debauchery will return! I just saw the trailer and it's crazy. We can guess that Serena slutted it up this summer, but of course, we never know what to predict when it comes to Gossip Girl, do we? OMFG indeed. Check out the promo below!

Dayyum! Two more weeks, kids!

True Blood (HBO): 9/7
My man Alan Ball sure does love secrets in suburbia doesn't he? This time, he's taking it to Louisiana, where we'll meet Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin, back in blonde), your normal average waitress whose crush on a vampire down the street will lead her into an intense (probably sexy) road of mystery. Since it's Alan Ball, we can be sure it'll be delightfully fucked-up. Watch the trailer below:


Dexter (SHO): 9/28
America's favorite serial killer is back with a vengeance! And it's good, too. After the amount of plot resolution in Season 2, I was worried they wouldn't have much more to build. And thank God there is! *Sigh*, Michael C. Hall, why must you be married...

Also, art propagandist Shepard Fairey (OBEY Giant) designed Season 3's poster. It's pretty badass, isn't it? I'll let you judge for yourself.

Scrubs (ABC): TBA
All I can say is thank God for the writer's strike, eh? Anyone who saw Season 7's would-be finale was probably disappointed, as we all know Scrubs is all about closure. Because of this, we've been given a whole 'nother season! Woo! It's switching from NBC to ABC and because of the confusion that the writer's strike put everyone involved into, we can't really be sure when it'll air. I'm guessing it'll be in October-ish.

South Park (Comedy Central): TBA
ALL OF US can guess that if there's any year South Park is necessary for, it'll be this one. Wow, what will Matt & Trey have to say about the Olympics? The election? Do you think they'll finally make a happy ending for Chef after Isaac Hayes' death? God, I know I can't wait.

Get excited, kids! Gossip Girl kicks off the fun in two weeks!