Monday, August 11, 2008

I can't do it with high school anymore.

Le sigh. While the majority of you kids await the return (or first year) of college, I had to go back to school today. I've promised myself I'm really going to kick ass this year, and go out with a bang. But it doesn't feel that way at all.I'm a senior now. Woo? It's surprising, but I couldn't really give a rat's ass anymore, I'll be honest. Now that all the fun kids have left, school is bland and I don't feel like I have very many friends there.

At first I was worried about the classes, but now I'm not so much that anymore (except for Physics, which I'm trying really hard to get out of while I can) that's occupying my time. It's very lonely. For once, I feel so alone that it's not going to be a problem focusing on school. I hung out with older kids all the time, and now they're all gone. I can count the people who will still be here that I think I have a close mutual friendship with on two hands.
I just want to get out of here, really. I'm ready to move on, away from people I've spent four years feeling alienated from.
Let's get this year over with, shall we? *Sigh*.


Valentina said...

No, back to school already?!? It's august 11th, isn't that like insanely early? I mean even in Arkansassy we went back on like the 20th, and I thought that was terrible. I'm so sorry Sarah! I hung out with all the older kids too so I know how much it sucks when they all leave. It'll go by really quick though.

My senior physics class was priceless. Our teacher had this crazy idea that grades weren't important, so he'd like make us take tests, than grade them to show us our errors and give us all a 100. Crazy first year teachers, with all their youthful idealism. It was adorable. Our "final" was this research paper that we got to work on in pairs. We didn't really end up having a due date, and I'm pretty sure he never even read them. That's the only reason I ended up with an A in physics.

lolitahazed said...

I know, I know! It's ridiculously early! I hate the public schooling system. It's absolutely ridiculous! But hey, I'm using it as a way to count down the days to fall.
I think I'm okay with not having very many super-close friends. I don't really do social much anyway and need to focus. Does it help that I prefer my internet friends to some of my real ones?

Um, you're so lucky! Why can't I go to a real school like yours? Everyone I know says I've basically enrolled myself in Killing Yourself 101. I'm busting my hump to get out of it! If I do, I have a chance of survival!
*Sigh*. I need a blow-off class.

Valentina said...

aww, lately I've been thinking that some of my internet friends are better than my real ones too. Is this creepy? Whenever I try to explain to anyone about missbehave and the peach pit girls, they just kind of give me this look like "you're friends with people you've never met in real life?". Yes. Yes I am. And proud of it too.

For some strange reason all my "hard" senior classes were all absurdly simple while I ended up with a B in my bs art course. Irony! Although I guess this could be attributed to the fact that I constantly refused to obey the guidelines our art teacher gave us, and would instead spend most of the period talking and making collages. But really my brother had the best idea ever for dealing with hs. He only spent three periods there and then got to go home the rest of the day cause he took "correspondence courses" with a local college. Basically he did little to no work and got high school and college credit for it. Lucky bastard.

lolitahazed said...

I actually don't think it's creepy, because we're awesome. Seriously though, this may sound weird because I've only been talking to you and Erika for like a month, but really, I love you guys. WHO ELSE takes an interest in my true blabber, really? Plus, you guys seem to get me. I am not a person who is very frequently "gotten".
Wow, how did you get a B in art? Man, that sucks! But I feel you, because I've had some DUMB teachers in my life, forcing really BS curriculums and whatnot. I wanted to make a hippie/existentialist rants, being all, "man, what is art, REALLY?"
Gawd I love my art. Last year just killed all my other classes with its amazingness. I said at the beginning of the year, "I hope this will be like The View and The Joy of Painting all together!"
And it was.

It was also magic.

Erika said...

Hey! I didn't mean to miss this convo! I was at my friend's house where we were playing a vindictive game of Life!

I went back to school last year around this time too, so it's normal to me. In my senior year, science credits weren't mandatory so I definitely took more artsy classes. I made the mistake of taking AP Gov and Pol. Sys (don't ever do that unless you really like the boring parts of the US), but I took AP Euro and that class was awesome! I took physics in 11th and barely passed it because I hung out in the back of the class with the slacker kids and juvenile delinquents and we just talked and passed notes and most of our convos consisted of references from Super Troopers, Waiting, The Big Lebowski, and various stoner movies.
But then in senior year I became an editor of my newspaper and that was rad because I just wrote a lot of album reviews and surveys and told other people they were bad writers. So you know, editors like to crush dreams for fun. It is really fun.

I'm so glad I started talking to you guys because I definitely can just completely be myself with ya'll and plus I love giving out advice and asking for it and it's so rad that V will be out in the funshine state with me! Sarah, you have to come to LA after your senior year! I'm a really fun partyer!

lolitahazed said...

Ahhh! I feel like a cat with meat dangled in front of its face! Um, I HAVE to kick it with you guys at LEAST once. Hopefully more. I'm going to make it happen!


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